Christians are straight up FREAKS
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
