They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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