I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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