You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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