i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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