I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
he quoted the bible to break up with me
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
