i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
