bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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