she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
