So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
