He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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