I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
