i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
