Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
