yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
the liver wants what the liver wants
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
