She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
