it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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