Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Two words: blizzard sex
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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