i jhust puked up my retainher.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
