I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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