Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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