She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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