Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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