Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
