Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Randomize
