hotel room ftw
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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