She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
