she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
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You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
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MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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