I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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