I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
