i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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