): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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