I hate your face
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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