Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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