Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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