I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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