I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Randomize