It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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