well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
