Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
