This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
