Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Someone shattered a urinal.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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