no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize