I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
