I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
