bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
