THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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