A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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