My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
