Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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