I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize