Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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