My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Just cropdusted the office
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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