Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
