her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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