Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
