he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
i am craving dick and cupcakes
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
